I think that Melbourne has an amazing cafe dining scene. So when I encounter a below-par cafe, it makes me wonder how they are able to survive with the above-average level of competition and a clientele of highly discerning diners.
What’s even more surprising is that Jolimont Expresso (why not espresso?) is busy. The city is chock full of wonderful places to eat and drink, yet we had trouble finding a free table on a Saturday afternoon. Is it because it’s in Federation Square and mainly caters for tourists and a captive audience of gallery visitors? I have no idea, but I’d rate my lunch there as one of the worst in recent memory.
I met up with K and B for a quick lunch stop and between us we ordered two serves of poached eggs with various accompaniments (all day breakfast menu) and for myself warm felafel with toasted bread and homemade dips.
I was too shy to take photos of K and B’s food (they’re not used to my blogging habits yet) but the general consensus was that the eggs were not bad but the toast was soggy and generally the dish left a lot to be desired.
My felafels were dry crumbly nuggets of compacted grain, as hard as golf balls and about as appetising. The toasted bread consisted of two hard slices of baguette and a dry pita pocket, of the kind normally found in supermarket bakeries in packs of 8. The homemade dips were avocado (the best thing on the whole plate) and some sour cream and sweet tomato sauce swirled concoction, a condiment you would’ve expected to see at a 50s dinner party. I pushed it aside and gamely continued choking down a pita pocket filled with avocado, the salad and a few crumbled up bits of felafel golf ball just so I could get some protein into my hungry belly.
Spending $15 on a half-eaten plate left a bitter taste in my mouth. If you’re in Federation Square and in need of a quick feed, please do yourself a favour and avoid Jolimont Expresso – leave it to the poor unwary tourists.
- Jolimont Expresso, Federation Square, Melbourne + 61 3 9639 5345
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You must be mistaken with another cafe. I come to jolimont expresso frequently and it is definitaly hot. I have tried alot of things on the menu which included the warm felafals, and it was amazing. They were not golfballs but sumptuous with amazing taste. The dips were exquisite, and the bread was beautifully toasted. Service is always attentive and very friendly and always helpful if you need it. Try the semi dried bruschetta if you ever do come in next time, it is the best in the whole of Melbourne. Next time don’t act like a professional know it all. Thank you.
Twitter: taneeea
| August 14, 2010, 1:45 pm
Hi Tania
Thanks for your comment. I was with two other people at the time and I am pretty sure we were at Jolimont Espresso (as we specifically arranged to meet there), plus they can attest to the quality of my meal (and theirs) as they saw and tasted the plate of felafels. I’m sorry you think that I’m coming across as a ‘professional know it all’. Like you I’m a member of the public who eats out, pays for their meals and has an opinion, and I think what I’ve written is a fair account of my experience at Jolimont Espresso.
Jetsetting Joyce
I agree with jetsetting joyce. I have also been there ( unfortunately) Not only was the food terrible, the service and language used was disgusting
I totally agree with Joyce! Jolimont Expresso serves very below average food. As someone who works at Federation Square, I know as I’ve tried their food several times, and it never improves.
Tania’s line “if you ever do come in next time”, leaves me wondering is she’s not an employee of Jolimont Expresso? Tania? And her line “it is the best in the whole of Melbourne” makes me think she hasn’t experienced the truly great food Melbourne offers.
Tania spreah your wings and fly.
Hi Toby and Arrabelle
Thanks for your comments. I did have an inkling that Tania was a friend or employee of the cafe – but I thought that since it has managed to survive for this long so it must have some fans. Plus it’s always good to have differing opinions on the blog, that way readers can make up their own mind.
Jetsetting Joyce